Arizona to add MLGay Day to Keep Superbowl

Hey kids, want to have an extra holiday during the school year? Announcing February 20th as MLGay Day. During MLGay Day, Arizonans begin by yelling ‘Religious Freedom!’ while NFL employees sneak dollar bills out of their pockets. At the end of the day the yelling turns to ‘Whoops, sorry!’ and the NFL employees give them all the money back.

The state of Arizona is attempting to go head to head with other great progressive destinations such as Georgia, Kansas, and Uganda for the title of Most Homophobic Land in the World.

Arizona’s  State Legislature passed SB 1062, which its advocates say promotes religious freedom. Opponents believe it is a way to allow business owners and employees to discriminate against homosexuals.

The governor of Arizona, Jan Brewer, has 5 days to either sign or veto the bill. Judging from her comments the other day, it looks as if Brewer will make the right decision to veto this ludicrous piece of dribble. Already, some of those backing the bill are pulling away, although perhaps for the wrong reasons. In a written letter to Gov. Brewer, three Republicans, Bob Worsley, Steve Pierce, and Majority Whip Adam Driggs stated:

While our sincere intent in voting for this bill was to create a shield for all citizens’ religious liberties, the bill has instead been mischaracterized by its opponents as a sword for religious intolerance…These allegations are causing our state immeasurable harm.

To paraphrase in the good senators’ own language, they’re gonna take away the gosh darn Superbowl if we make it legal to hate them faggots.

That’s right, Arizona lost the Superbowl in 1993 because they refused to recognize MLK day. This time, however, it looks as if religious freedom is only as important as the money the state stands to lose if they miss out on the Superbowl for a second time.

It’s not as though Arizonan’s needed a law to discriminate, though, as a same sex couple in Phoenix was denied a cake by a bakery who felt her Biblical convictions could not allow her to bake a cake for the couple.

I started doing cakes primarily for family and friends, and an occasional cake or the like for those recommended by family and friends and never as a business or business identity. When contacted by a same sex couple to produce a “wedding” cake, I respectfully declined due to my personal Biblical convictions as a born-again Christian. Although I have made birthday cakes for anyone without any hesitation, I firmly believe that my convictions in the Bible are more important than money. I fully understand that others have their opinions, convictions, and freedom to act upon their beliefs. I too, ask others to respect my opinion, convictions, and freedoms to decline services to those positions I oppose. This truly is the real issue, not a cake.

Agreed. The real issue is you hate gay people, not cake. In fact, your Bible tells you to stone homosexuals, do you really think denying them cake is going to convince your god of your convictions? You’ll have to do better. Also, think there is any fat in your cake?

Importantly, however, to SOD, if this bill passes what would it mean in the classroom? Could teachers deny teaching students who had same sex parents? What about an openly gay student? Could they bar that student from their classrooms? Barring students from class, that sounds familiar…

Good skeptics will be familiar with the cry of religious freedom in order to discriminate against other individuals. Just imagine if instead of homosexuals this bill was targeting blacks, jews, asians, mexicans (that’s a different Arizona bill isn’t it?) women, etc. What’s to stop anybody from using religious freedom to discriminate from any individual or group? Religious Freedom doesn’t really make sense, but that’s a whole different article.

Fortunately, for straight Arizonans it appears the ability  to watch sweaty men grapple with each other in tight spandex pants in their own backyard should counter the necessity to publicly discriminate against gays. Happy MLGay Day.


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Richard teaches art at a Catholic school, and spends most of his days coloring and pretending he is not an atheist. He likes vintage furniture and french bulldogs.

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